Ah, June. We are this close to the official first day of summer, and you can feel it in the air. Literally. You can feel it hit your face at 80 km/h.
If you live anywhere near the lake, you know exactly what time it is. It’s that magical, horrific window of the year when Mother Nature decides to test our collective sanity by releasing the swarm.
I love summer, I really do. But getting through this late-spring bug apocalypse? It kinda sucks. Here is a survival guide (and a mutual support group) for anyone currently battling the lakeside invasion.
The Lineup: From Micro-Annoyances to Megabytes
Every year, the lake gifts us a two-pronged aerial assault. Let’s meet our contestants:
1. The Midges (The Tiny Terrorists)
They don’t bite, but what they lack in teeth, they make up for in sheer, overwhelming volume. They form those massive, hovering clouds at head-height that you accidentally walk through while yawning. Suddenly, you’ve inhaled a high-protein snack you definitely didn’t order.
2. The Fishflies / Mayflies (The Heavy Artillery)
And then, there are the fishflies. These guys look like prehistoric dragons, fly like drunk toddlers, and have a lifespan of about 24 hours. Their entire life purpose is to hatch, stress us out, die in massive piles, and leave a parting gift.
The Fishfly Symphony: You haven’t truly experienced a lakeside June until you’ve taken a stroll down the sidewalk and heard that distinct, skin-crawling CRUNCH-CRUNCH-CRUNCH under your shoes. It’s like walking on a bed of stale potato chips, if potato chips smelled like a seafood market left out in the sun.
The Windshield vs. The Swarm: A Driving Hazard
Let’s talk about the logistics of just trying to get to work. A week or so ago, the swarm was so thick I actually had to pull over and stop driving. The bug splatters on my windshield created a literal blackout curtain. I couldn’t see the road! – See the poto above – thats how it look when i arrived to work.
Turning on the windshield wipers just turns a vision problem into a horrific, blurry, yellow-green watercolor painting across your glass.
Last week alone, I had to wash my vehicle three times. And don’t even get me started on the smell. If you know, you know. It’s a unique blend of baked-on engine heat and rotting crustacean. Delicious.
Weather Whiplash
To make matters wilder, the weather can’t seem to make up its mind. As we edge closer to the summer solstice, we are trapped in a cycle of meteorological mood swings.
| Today | Tommorow |
| 90°F (32°C), blazing sun, you’re sweating through your shirt. | 55°F (13°C), freezing lake breeze, you’re hunting for a hoodie. |
| The bugs are aggressive and throwing a rave. | The bugs are hiding, but you’re shivering. |
It’s a classic late-spring identity crisis.
We Will Survive!
Look, despite the windshield drama, the crunchy sidewalks, and the fact that I’m currently spending my life savings at the local car wash, I am choosing optimism. The temperature will stabilize, the fishflies will vanish as quickly as they arrived, and glorious, bug-free (okay, less bug-heavy) summer beach days are just around the corner.
We just have to survive the gauntlet.
Over to you, fellow lake-dwellers!
How are you handling the swarm this year? Have you had to wash your car a ridiculous number of times yet, or are you just accepting the new textured paint job? Let me know your funniest bug-battle stories in the comments below!
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